You’ve heard the saying, ‘If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.’ That’s true. My attitude is very contagious. If I want to pass on victory to my children, I have to demonstrate getting the victory now. If I want my husband to want to come home, I need to make my home a place that’s nice to come home to.
Recently, my husband and I were discussing how to help our children deal with their frustration. Growing up, I tended to be somewhat argumentative (My husband would say that’s putting it mildly!). One of my teachers in school thought I should become a lawyer. The problem is that tendency has become a habit with me. More unfortunately, it’s a habit I’m passing on to our children. During this morning’s discussion, I began to feel condemned. You see, my husband was saying that I was perpetuating the children’s behavior because I was tending to argue with them. Not only was I contributing, but I had modeled this for them. The problem was he was absolutely right and I hated to admit it!
Being the wonderful, perceptive man that he is, finally he asked me what was wrong. I told him I felt bad because of what he was saying. He asked me if I felt convicted or condemned. This question was crucial. I realized that I was feeling condemned. Well, God doesn’t ever condemn us. He convicts us so that we can change our ways and become better. If I’m feeling condemned, that can only be from one source—Satan. I have power over Satan. I can cast him out in Jesus’ name, which I promptly did. Wow! Instantly, I had the victory. My peace was back and all fear and other nasty feelings were gone. This enabled me to look at my husband’s words and realize that yes, he was right, but that I could change. I had the power to change.
Now, that doesn’t mean that our children’s behavior will change overnight. It’s going to take a few days. There are also my own bad habits to deal with as well. I need to recognize when I’m falling into my own bad habit of arguing and stop instantly, modeling good habits rather than bad ones. You see, I can’t just tell my children they are arguing or that they have a bad attitude. I need to model for them proper ways of discussing issues and maintaining a good attitude, but I can’t stop there. I also have to teach them how to do this for themselves.
Bottom line? In order to defeat fear forever, the first step is to fear the Lord and work to become like Him. Joy Haney in her book, At the Master’s Feet, says, “To fear the Lord is to respect His Word and to obey it. It is to walk softly before God with great reverence and awe at His glory and presence. It is to set Him up on the highest throne of your heart—to exalt Him and worship Him continually.” If I consistently do this, I will never fear.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear: the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord,” Psalm 27:1-6 (KJV).
Excerpt from Defeat Fear Forever by: Christina Li, copyright 2010.
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