Tag Archives: love
This is from one of our Blog Post contest winners.
I’m the kind of girl who hates to cry
I cover up with a laugh but really I’m dyin’ inside
I’d stay up late into the night
Crying because I couldn’t face the light,
I was dyin’ inside
Mia put down her pen and began strumming on her guitar; her lips moved as she silently mouthed the words of this first verse of a song she was writing. If there was one thing she knew, it was pain. Not physical pain, but a constant pain she kept inside.
Her parents had no idea how she felt, and she didn’t know how to approach them with something like this. She’d never felt very special. She’d always been overshadowed by the achievements of her younger brothers and sisters. It hurt, knowing that her parents weren’t as proud or as happy about what she was interested in. What hurt even more was the fact that when she expressed an interest in music, neither of her parents seemed to notice, whereas when her younger sister expressed an interest in it, they went out of their way to teach her what she wanted to know.
She picked up her pen again and began writing.
Do you know what that feels like?
People not seeing through your disguise?
I’m waiting for someone who’s brave enough to see
That through this mask that something’s killing me
I’m dyin’ inside
Mia brushed away another tear and picked up her phone and read the text message. It was from Tammy.
Hey, it said, how are you doing?
Heyyy Tammaayy I’m doing okay I guess, Mia quickly texted back.
That’s great! Tammy replied.
Mia pressed her lips together and kept writing the song. Then, another text came, and the personalized ringtone sang, “I love you more than the sun and the stars that I taught how to shine…”
Is everything okay? Ashlynn, the youth pastor’s sister, had just texted her.
Another text from Ashlynn: I just felt an overwhelming urge to pray for you. I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you whenever you need anything!
Mia felt tears welling up in her eyes as she continued writing.
I’ve fooled everyone with a laugh and a smile
I try to shake these feelings for a while
But then I heard Someone whispering my name
You said, “Come here child, I’ll hold you tight
“I’ll give you peace to deal with this hectic life,
“I’ll give you strength so that you can keep holding on tight,
“I’ll give you hope so that you will keep going on,
“I’ll give you life so that you can stop dyin’ inside.”
Thanks, Ash! I’ve actually been battling feelings of inadequacy and bitterness.
After a short pause, Mia quickly sent another text. Sorry, I sound like I’m whining!
It’s okay, girl! Never feel ashamed to tell me what’s really bothering you, came the reply. But I think God wants you to know that He’s holding you right now. Even when you can’t feel it. He’s always got your back! And I do to!
Mia continued writing the song.
So now I can finally see
And I finally accept and believe
That Jesus has got my back
He’s got it through the attack
But for anyone who is struggling with life
For anyone who’s dyin’ inside
Hey, Mia! Greg, a friend from her church who was like the older brother she never had, texted her. Got some pretty amazing news: you don’t have to die anymore. Jesus is right by your side. Just keep holding on! P.S. Hebrews 13:5 “…I will neither leave thee nor forsake thee.” P.S. 2… I really don’t know why I just told you that…but I hope it helps!
The amazing part was that Mia hadn’t even told him about how she’d been feeling.
Another verse was added to the song:
You don’t have to die anymore
He’s here to calm all your storms
So go on, run into His arms
Where He’ll keep you safe from all harm
Her phone rang. At first she ignored it, trying to think of what seemed to be missing, until she heard the lyrics from the personalized ringtone: “…If you’re a ship and you’re lost in the ocean, I’ll be the wind in your sails, give you motion, I will guide you home…”
She answered it.
“I wanted to say this so that you could hear it, instead of just reading it through a text,” the person on the other line said. She recognized the voice and smiled. It was Jackie, her friend back in Wisconsin.
“Hey, what’s up, Jackie?”
“Remember that melody line that you sang right before you moved?” Jackie asked.
“I had an idea. It’s just a few lines, but I’ve got something.”
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
Those last four lines were the end of her song:
Now I’m not saying life won’t be hard
But I know that God is never far
He’s always been by your side
He’s always been holding you tight
Soon after hanging up with Jackie, her phone rang again. As she reached for the phone, Mia sighed and smiled through tears that she hadn’t realized had been falling down her cheeks, wondering if she’d ever get some peace to actually play through the whole song.
“Hey, Mia,” her father said. “I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you. Love you!” then he hung up.
Mia cried. She’d never felt so happy. God knew exactly what she’d needed. And His timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
And she was finally able to play through the song.
Recently, I received a review of my book, Defeat Fear Forever, that was a little shall we say, less than positive. One of the things the reviewer didn’t like was what he thought of as ‘elevation of humans’. He didn’t like the idea of us humans having what I call a horizontal (meaning eye-to-eye) relationship with God. He didn’t like me saying that Jesus was going to put those who overcome on His throne with Him (Revelation 3:21).
Now, let me be clear. We do not elevate ourselves. God, Himself, elevates us, through His own grace and mercy. He is God and we are not. However, He calls us His bride. By calling us His bride, He elevates us up to His level. He is still the king, yet we are welcome, in fact invited, to rule and reign with Him. We don’t and won’t have His power. He will always be God and we will always be His creation. Yet, He chose to love us. He chose to breathe into us His very breath of life. He chose to make us in His image. He chose to give us a choice as to whether or not to follow Him and His ways. He gave us the choice of good or evil. Then, even after our evil separated us from Him, He offered us a way back through the sacrifice of His very own life’s blood.
It is so easy for us Christians to think less of ourselves. We are sinners saved by grace. This is absolutely true. Yet, what about the ‘disciple whom Jesus loved’? That was John and that was how he refered to himself. Was one of Jesus’ very own disciples referring to himself wrongly? Do we believe the Bible to be the inspired Word of God or not? If that is so, then we must accept the way John refered to himself, not as arrogance, but as a simple acknowledgement of fact. Why did Jesus love John so much? Because John loved Jesus so much. Because John went out of his way to sit next to Jesus, to be close to Jesus, to hang onto His every word, to just be near Him.
The ‘disciple whom Jesus loved’ was the way John refered to himself. If we realize that this is not a bad thing, what do we do with that? How does this change us? John was no more beloved by Jesus than any of the other disciples. Yet, John understood something profound. John got it! John not only understood God’s love for him, he turned it around and understood God’s love for everyone around him. Then, because John loved Jesus so much and wanted to be like Him, he turned around and started loving the world the way God did.
Jesus says we are to abide in Him and He will abide in us (John 15:4). What does that mean? It’s not just something academic. It’s not a groveling, lower than dirt, situation either. Jesus invites us to abide in Him. He offers to fill us with His very own Spirit. He wants to abide in and with us!
We aren’t called to be just God’s children. We are also to be His bride. I don’t know about you, but in my marriage, we are equals. My husband doesn’t want to be treated like my daddy, he wants to be treated as my husband. He doesn’t need another child, he needs a partner.
Many of us Christians don’t walk in the authority we have been given as God’s children, much less as His bride. We live beneath our privileges. What queen in her right mind would choose to live in a cottage when she could live in a castle? What queen chooses to view herself as a penniless peasant when she is wealthy royalty? When we learn to walk in the authority we have been given, we will see the signs and wonders following us. We will have a boldness we have never known before. We will realize just how much we are loved and in turn learn to love others in a supernatural way. We will be a force for change in ourselves and in the lives of those around us.
It is not wrong to view ourselves as ‘disciples whom Jesus loves’. In fact, that’s the right way to look at ourselves. It’s humbling to be so honored by the very King of kings. Yet, that is what Jesus wants for us. Take a look for yourselves in Scripture and start learning to look at yourself the way God views you, very loved and very precious–even ‘to die for’!
P.S. Just wanted to give a plug for Response To Grace Ministries. They offer terrific Bible studies and ‘Beloved Disciple’ is where I got a lot of ideas for this post.